M is photographed naked and it hits front page WMN

So M called me again last night. 11pm my time so 4am her time. The sleeping tablets prescribed by the doctor appear to be having little or no effect anymore. Double the dose I say as I’m not sure I can take these outpourings just before bed.

Last night I was looking after the cutest little baby, 10 months and should be on one of those baby food adverts. All smiles and tiny little teeth. Also part of the package was a lovable dachshund who only became lovable after nipping my ankles several times. We got past this by me feeding her some Red Leicester, her favourite, which is commonly known as orange cheddar over here…. sigh.

The baby had gone to bed several hours before and had not made a peep and even the doggy was curled up beside me on the sofa so I was expecting the parents to return soon when my phone rang.

After the sudden death of a close friend a couple of years ago the phone ringing after 10pm no longer makes me think ‘partay!!’ but ‘doom’. It was M indeed calling to fill me with doom.

She has been pretty hardcore up until this point. Really dealing with D’s ridiculous actions in an extremely calm and mature way. I was very impressed to learn that she got straight on the case of fixing all things broken in the house and then put it on the market. D meanwhile is mooning around like a mentally retarded love sick teenager, being about as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

But I think the enormity of it all has hit her now. The house is all but sold but there are a lot of other financial considerations regarding the business they both share and this is keeping her up at night.

And now it’s keeping me up at night too. After listening to M tell me all the ins and outs she alos told me that D is bringing this silly twit girl to his local hangouts with his rowing and cycling mates. PUSHING HIS LUCK! How fucking disrespectful. Within spitting distance of where M is holed up at home, nursing a broken ankle, and trying to deal with debts and worries D is parading around with this much younger girl as if he has no cares in the world.

I have to say that my respect for him is dwindling. Everyone is entitled to happiness but there is a right way and wrong way to go about it. This silly girl should be very grateful I am on the other side of the world. All I can say is that she wouldn’t ever look quite the same when I’d got finished with her.

But the outcome of all this angst before bed is that I had horrible nightmares about my siblings being put on ice in a large round tub (mixture of The Ghost Whisperer and my book about the murder of a bass fisherman) and that one of M’s favourite reps from the business had taken pictures of her sunbathing naked and then printed them in the local yokel newspaper.

Hilarious in the light of day (not the dead sibling bit) but at night pretty bloody terrifying. I was livid and vowed to chase this rep down and make his life hell. Now I feel all guilty and want to call him and apologise……


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